As a parent, finding the right words to talk about mental health with your child can feel challenging. You might wonder if they’re too young to understand or worry about saying the wrong thing. At the Ohio Center for Adolescent Wellness, we work with families every day to navigate these important conversations. We’ve learned that children can understand more than we often give them credit for, especially when we use language that resonates with their experiences.
Mental health conversations create a foundation for emotional wellness that benefits children throughout their lives. When we talk openly about feelings, thoughts, and emotional challenges, we help remove the stigma that can prevent people from seeking help when they need it.
This guide offers practical approaches to explain mental health in ways children can understand and appreciate. Whether you’re having these conversations for the first time or looking to deepen ongoing discussions, these strategies can help you connect with your child about this essential aspect of overall health.
Understanding Mental Health for Kids
Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. For children, it affects how they think, feel, and act in daily life. Just as we care for our bodies with healthy food and exercise, we also need to care for our minds and emotions.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), about 1 in 6 children aged 2-8 years has a diagnosed mental, behavioral, or developmental disorder. For older children aged 3–17, approximately 4.4 million have diagnosed anxiety, and 1.9 million have diagnosed depression.
When I explain mental health to children, I find it helpful to use simple comparisons:
Mental health is like physical health: Just as we can catch colds or get stomachaches, our minds can sometimes feel worried, sad, or overwhelmed.
Emotions are like weather: Sometimes we feel sunny and happy, and other times we might feel stormy or cloudy with sadness or anger. All weather patterns are normal and temporary.
The brain is like a muscle: It needs care and exercise to stay healthy and strong. Talking about feelings is one way to exercise this muscle.
At the Ohio Center for Adolescent Wellness, we emphasize that mental health is as important as physical health. Children who understand this concept early are better equipped to recognize and express their feelings throughout life.
Why Talking About Mental Health Early Matters
Starting conversations about mental health when children are young creates a foundation for lifelong emotional wellness. These early discussions help normalize mental health as part of overall health.
The National Institute of Mental Health reports that half of all mental health conditions begin by age 14. When children learn about mental health early, they develop vocabulary to describe their feelings and experiences. This emotional literacy helps them communicate their needs more effectively as they grow.
Research from the Harvard Center on the Developing Child shows that early emotional learning strengthens children’s ability to manage stress and build resilience. Children who can name and understand their emotions are better equipped to handle life’s challenges.
Benefits of early mental health conversations include:
- Building trust: Children learn they can talk to you about difficult feelings
- Reducing stigma: Mental health becomes a normal topic, not something to hide
- Developing emotional awareness: Children learn to recognize and name their feelings
- Creating help-seeking habits: Children understand that asking for help with emotions is normal and healthy
When we talk openly about mental health, we show children that all feelings are valid and manageable. This approach helps prevent shame around emotional struggles and encourages open communication throughout childhood and adolescence.
How to Start the Conversation With Your Child
Choose a Calm Setting
Finding the right moment for mental health conversations makes a significant difference in how children receive the information. I’ve found that relaxed, low-pressure situations often work best.
Good opportunities might include:
– During a walk or bike ride
– While driving in the car
– During a quiet activity like coloring or building with blocks
– At bedtime when things are winding down
These moments work because they offer connection without direct eye contact, which some children find more comfortable for serious conversations. The environment should be free from distractions like screens or other interruptions.
Avoid starting these conversations when either you or your child feels rushed, tired, or upset. A calm emotional state helps both of you engage more thoughtfully.
Use Simple Language
Children understand mental health concepts when we use words that match their developmental stage. Clear, straightforward language helps them grasp new ideas without feeling overwhelmed.
Age-appropriate phrases that work well include:
– “Our brains help us think, feel, and act. Sometimes our brains feel great, and sometimes they need extra care.”
– “Everyone has big feelings sometimes. It’s okay to feel happy, sad, worried, or angry.”
– “Talking about feelings helps them feel less big and scary.”
– “Just like we take care of our bodies, we also need to take care of our thoughts and feelings.”
– “Some people need extra help with big feelings, and that’s completely okay.”
When explaining mental health to children, I focus on using terms that feel supportive rather than scary:
Helpful terms:
– Feelings and emotions
– Brain health
– Stress or worry
– Emotional wellness
– Caring for our minds
Terms to avoid:
– Mental illness or disorder
– Psychiatric condition
– Abnormal behavior
– Chemical imbalance
– Dysfunction
Listen and Validate Feelings
Active listening shows children that their thoughts and feelings matter. When a child shares something emotional, I give my full attention by:
– Putting away my phone or other distractions
– Getting on their eye level when possible
– Nodding to show I’m listening
– Asking clarifying questions to understand better
Validation means acknowledging feelings without judgment, even when emotions seem out of proportion. This doesn’t mean agreeing with all behaviors, just recognizing the feelings behind them.
Validating responses sound like:
– “I can see you’re feeling really frustrated right now.”
– “That situation sounds really challenging.”
– “It makes sense that you’d feel nervous about that.”
– “Thank you for telling me how you’re feeling.”
– “Your feelings are important, and I’m here to listen.”
When children feel heard and validated, they’re more likely to continue sharing their emotional experiences, building a foundation of trust for future conversations.
Simple Ways to Explain Mental Health to a Child
Compare Emotions to Physical Health
One of the most effective ways I explain mental health to children is by comparing it to physical health concepts they already understand. This approach helps normalize mental health as part of overall wellness.
For example:
– “Just like we get physical injuries like scrapes or broken bones, we can also have emotional hurts that need care and time to heal.”
– “Our bodies tell us when something is wrong by feeling pain or getting a fever. Our emotions are signals too—they tell us important information about how we’re doing.”
– “Sometimes we need medicine for our bodies when we’re sick. Some people take medicine to help their brains feel better too.”
A conversation might unfold like this:
“Remember when you had that bad cold last winter? Your body needed extra rest, medicine, and care to get better. Our minds can get tired or unwell too. When that happens, we might need to talk to someone who helps with feelings, get extra rest, or learn special ways to help our minds feel better. Just like a cold isn’t your fault, feeling very sad or worried for a long time isn’t anyone’s fault either.”
This approach helps children understand that mental health challenges are health conditions, not character flaws or weaknesses.
Use Stories or Play
Stories and play activities create safe ways for children to explore mental health concepts. Through characters and creative expression, children can process complex ideas at their own pace.
Books that address emotions and mental health help children see that others experience similar feelings. The right book can open conversations and normalize emotional experiences.
Play activities that support mental health understanding include:
– Drawing feelings: Have children draw what different emotions look like to them
– Feelings charades: Act out emotions for others to guess
– Worry box: Decorate a box where children can place written worries
– Puppet play: Use puppets to act out emotional situations and solutions
Resources by Age Group
| Age Group | Books | Activities |
|---|---|---|
| 5–7 | The Color Monster by Anna Llenas Ruby Finds a Worry by Tom Percival | Feelings flashcards Emotion face drawing Puppet play |
| 8–10 | What to Do When You Worry Too Much by Dawn Huebner My Strong Mind by Niels van Hove | Worry journal Calm-down corner creation Feelings charades |
| 11–13 | Hey Warrior by Karen Young Guts by Raina Telgemeier | Stress management plan Emotion mapping Guided journaling |
Encourage Questions
Children often have questions about mental health that they may hesitate to ask. Creating an atmosphere where questions are welcomed helps them process new information.
Open-ended questions that invite conversation include:
– “What have you heard about mental health?”
– “How do you think someone might feel if they’re having a hard time with their emotions?”
– “What do you do when you’re feeling really worried or sad?”
– “What questions do you have about how our brains and feelings work?”
When answering questions, I keep these principles in mind:
– Use clear, direct language
– Answer only what was asked without overexplaining
– Be honest when I don’t know an answer
– Circle back to questions later if needed
– Validate the question itself (“That’s a really thoughtful question”)
Children’s questions provide valuable insights into their understanding and concerns. By responding openly and honestly, we build trust and encourage continued curiosity about mental health.
Recognizing Signs of Deeper Concerns
Persistent Mood Shifts
All children experience mood changes as part of normal development. Temporary sadness, frustration, or irritability, especially in response to specific situations, is typically part of growing up and learning to navigate emotions.
However, certain patterns may signal a need for additional support. According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, persistent changes that last two weeks or longer deserve attention. These might include:
● Ongoing sadness or irritability that doesn’t improve with positive experiences
● Loss of interest in activities they previously enjoyed
● Expressing feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt
● Withdrawal from friends and family
● Significant changes in energy levels (either very low or unusually high)
The difference between typical mood fluctuations and concerning ones often lies in duration, intensity, and impact on daily functioning. When mood changes interfere with school performance, friendships, or family relationships, it may be time to consult with a healthcare provider.
Physical Complaints
Mental health challenges sometimes express themselves through physical symptoms, particularly in children who may not have the vocabulary to describe emotional distress. The mind-body connection is powerful, especially in developing children.
Common physical manifestations of emotional distress include:
– Frequent headaches with no medical cause
– Stomachaches or digestive issues, especially before stressful events
– Unexplained fatigue or changes in energy
– Muscle tension or pain
– Sleep disturbances
Research from the National Institute of Mental Health shows that up to 70% of children with anxiety, including social anxiety, report physical symptoms as their primary complaint. These physical symptoms are real—not imagined—and respond to both medical and mental health interventions.
Changes In Sleep Or Appetite
Sleep and eating patterns naturally fluctuate as children grow. However, significant or sudden changes can sometimes reflect underlying emotional challenges.
Sleep changes that may signal mental health concerns include:
– Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep
– Nightmares or night terrors that persist
– Sleeping much more than usual
– Resistance to sleep due to worries or fears
Similarly, notable shifts in appetite or eating behaviors might include:
– Eating much more or less than usual
– Hiding or hoarding food
– Expressing new concerns about body image
– Significant weight changes
The National Sleep Foundation reports that over 50% of children with depression experience sleep disturbances. When these changes persist for more than two weeks or cause distress, professional guidance can help determine appropriate support.
Tips for Answering Tough Questions
Children often ask direct and sometimes challenging questions about mental health. Their curiosity is natural and provides opportunities for meaningful education. Here are some common questions children ask, along with straightforward responses:
“Why do people feel sad when nothing bad happened?”
“Sometimes our brains produce fewer ‘happy chemicals’ than usual, which can make someone feel sad even when everything seems fine. It’s like how your body might feel tired even after a good night’s sleep.”
“Can you catch mental health problems from someone else?”
“Mental health challenges aren’t contagious like colds. You can’t catch them from being around someone. However, difficult experiences can affect how we feel.”
“Will I get a mental health problem when I grow up?”
“Most people have times when they feel very sad, worried, or stressed. Some people might need extra help with these feelings. Taking care of our mental health by talking about feelings and learning coping skills helps everyone stay emotionally healthy.”
“Why does my friend take medicine for their feelings?”
“Some people’s brains work a little differently, and medicine helps their brain chemicals stay balanced. It’s similar to how some people wear glasses to help their eyes see better.”
“Is it my fault when someone in our family feels very sad or angry?”
“Other people’s emotions are never your fault. Everyone is responsible for their own feelings and how they express them. Even when families have disagreements, the big feelings that follow aren’t caused by you.”
When answering questions about mental health:
– Use age-appropriate language without talking down
– Be honest while remaining hopeful
– Normalize the full range of human emotions
– Avoid oversharing personal details that might burden the child
– Circle back to the conversation later if needed
Key Principle:
Children benefit from honest, straightforward answers that respect their capacity to understand complex topics when presented appropriately.
Where to Find Support and Professional Help
Mental health professionals who work with children have specialized training to address young people’s unique developmental needs. Understanding the different types of providers can help you find the right support for your child.
Common mental health professionals for children include:
- Child Psychologists: Specialists with doctoral degrees (PhD or PsyD) who provide assessment, therapy, and behavioral interventions
- Child Psychiatrists: Medical doctors (MD) who can diagnose conditions and prescribe medication when needed
- Licensed Professional Counselors: Master’s-level clinicians who provide talk therapy and skill-building
- Clinical Social Workers: Professionals who offer therapy while considering family systems and community resources
When selecting a provider, consider factors such as:
– Experience with your child’s specific concerns
– Approach to involving parents in treatment
– Communication style and ability to connect with children
– Insurance coverage and session costs
– Location and availability
At the Ohio Center for Adolescent Wellness, we specialize in supporting children and adolescents through evidence-based approaches. Our team understands the unique challenges young people face and works collaboratively with families to develop effective support strategies.
Signs that professional support might be beneficial include:
- Emotional or behavioral changes lasting more than two weeks
- Difficulties functioning at school or with friends
- Expression of hopelessness or suicidal thoughts
- Significant changes in sleep, appetite, or energy
- Intense worries or fears that interfere with daily activities
- Declining academic performance
- Withdrawal from previously enjoyed activities
When introducing the idea of professional support to your child, frame it positively:
“This person helps kids understand big feelings and learn helpful ways to manage them. Many children talk with them, and they’re really good at listening and helping.”
The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry offers a free online resource for finding qualified child and adolescent psychiatrists in your area. Many pediatricians can also provide referrals to trusted mental health professionals.
Encouraging Healthy Ongoing Conversations
Mental health discussions work best as ongoing conversations rather than one-time talks. Regular check-ins create space for children to share their experiences and ask questions as they arise.
Simple ways to incorporate mental health conversations into daily life include:
- Emotion check-ins: “How is your heart feeling today?” or using a 1-10 scale
- Dinner table questions: “What was something challenging today? How did you handle it?”
- Bedtime reflections: “What’s one thing you’re proud of today? What’s something you’re looking forward to tomorrow?”
- Car ride conversations: Use drive time for low-pressure check-ins about feelings
The Child Mind Institute recommends making these conversations bi-directional by sharing your own appropriate emotional experiences. For example: “I felt nervous before my presentation today. I took some deep breaths to help me feel calmer.”
As children grow, their understanding of mental health naturally becomes more sophisticated. Conversations that begin with simple emotion identification in early childhood can evolve to include discussions about stress management, healthy relationships, and coping strategies in the teen years.
These ongoing dialogues help children develop emotional intelligence—the ability to identify, understand, and manage emotions effectively. Research shows that emotional intelligence is linked to better academic performance, stronger relationships, and improved mental health outcomes throughout life.
Supporting Your Child’s Mental Health Journey
Talking about mental health with children is an ongoing process that evolves as they grow. By using clear, age-appropriate language and relatable examples, we help children develop emotional awareness that serves them throughout life.
At the Ohio Center for Adolescent Wellness, we’re here to support parents and caregivers at every step of this journey. Whether you’re beginning these conversations for the first time or noticing signs that your child may need additional support, our team is ready to listen and guide you. You don’t have to navigate these challenges alone. If you have questions, concerns, or simply need someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate to contact us. Together, we can help your child build the emotional foundation they need to thrive today, tomorrow, and into adulthood.
References
Resources
https://www.chop.edu/health-resources/parents-tips-talking-your-child-about-mental-health
https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Talking-To-Kids-About-Mental-Illnesses-084.aspx
https://www.nami.org/kids-teens-and-young-adults/kids-and-parents/how-to-talk-to-your-child-about-their-mental-health/
